"Please Mind the Gap" is one phrase which you will hear again and again and again while commuting on the London underground. you get used to this phrase so much, that it becomes one of the commonest slang whilst you and your desi friends end up conversing about the Brits and their living! And it's not just a one off tube pickup line; the best display of the brits humour is to listen to the numerous comments made by the tube drivers, that you can hear live in action while riding a tube.
Below are genuine announcements made by Tube Drivers on the London Underground (collated by me from personal experience and through the internet) :
'Covent Garden has been closed due overcrowding. Please alight at Leicester Square and wander around aimlessly with your huge rucksacks until you get to your destination. You never know, they might install escalators one day!'
"We are now travelling through Baker Street, as you can see Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that".
'Please let the passengers off the train'.... 'Please let the passengers off the train first'....... 'PLEASE let the passengers off the train first'....... 'let the passengers off the train FIRST!'...... 'Go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care, I'm going home.'
"Ladies and Gentlemen, do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. I felt sadly let down by the fact that none of you sent me a card! I drive you to work and home each day and not even a card. The bad news is that there is a point's failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means that we probably won't reach our destination. We may have to stop and return. I won't reverse back up the line - simply get out walk up the platform and go back to where we started. In the mean time if you get bored you can simply talk to the man in front or beside you or opposite you. Let me start you off: 'Hi, my name's Gary how do you do?'."
"Please mind the closing doors..." The doors close... The doors reopen. "Passengers are reminded that the big red slidey things on the side of the train are called the doors. Let's try it again. Please stand clear of the doors." The doors close... "Thank you."
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologise for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction".
This train will NOT be stopping at Moorgate station. I repeat, this train will NOT stop at Moorgate'......., 'Ladies and gentlemen.....this train IS stopping at Moorgate, and of course I'm the last to know'
"Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors."
"May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it's only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage."
'Hello this is the captain of your Uxbridge train speaking, and we will be departing shortly. Please note that we will be cruising at an altitude of approximately zero feet, and our scheduled arrival time in Uxbridge is 11:15pm. The temperature in Uxbridge is a cool 10 degrees Celsius, and Uxbridge is in the same time zone as Aldgate, so there's no need to adjust your watches.'
'To the gentleman wearing sporting the pin-striped suit trying to get in to the third carriage, what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?
"Ladies and gentlemen this train has 22 doors on each side, please feel free to use all of them, not just the two in the middle".
'Well, well, well, ladies and gentlemen, it's happened again. Delays on your Victoria line and all sorts of trouble on the Jubilee. Gawd only knows what's going on there, it's gonna take more than Ken Livingstone to sort that tube out. By the way, Green Park is our next stop. Thankyou."
and the last one:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, this train will be leaving in...10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...we have blastoff!.....please mind the doors."
:D
3 comments:
Awesome... this reminds me the time and few nice quotes by beloved Captains of Underground... truly awesome I appreciate the way you have written this article... very well articulated… keep up the good work….
@Ruchi - hahaha...I appreciate the way you commented :)itna intellectual mat bano :D
Yaar this is really nicely composed hadd hai agar acche se comment do to bhi log baag... Ok I got yaa you must be mentioning Keep up the gud wrk ... see am improving isnt it ;)
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